This Ol' Factory

I once heard a sex crazed Jewish man ruminate on the intimacy of smell and said, “Okay, I getcha.” Parts of whatever is out there in the atmosphere jimmies open the lock to your face and barges into the holes. On the way through, one cannot help but grab hold of little parts of said airborne effluence and sample the miasma. It goes without saying scent visits ain’t always pretty. Bad smells can be lumped into three (in)distinct categories: (1) people/animals/plants, (2) food, and (3) inanimate objects/“Little”(Insert Country or City Name). Crossover happens. (Corpses-people or food? Moldy latkas- food or “Little Tel Aviv?) When it comes down to the trickies, give a description, then categorize. Or just talk about how gross they are like I do. GO!

a) stagnant water and manure: The City of Mesa

b) dog food in a cat food gravy sauce: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky

c) post-rain pile of smoldering cum mushrooms: My Neighborhood

d) skin tarred & feathered using human sweat and a bag of cigarette ashes: Tempe Buses

e) canned corn water, poop, and Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds: Old Women

f) fart and cigarettes: The Inside of My Car

g) carrots: People with really dry hands

Beware your surroundings, lest you end up like Prez no. 9, William Henry Harrison! Opium and snakeweed won’t save you. Stay in the smell and you will die. Eventually...